just 39 days

in just 39 days it will be my birthday. last year i had a joint cocktails birthday party with my sister (our birthdays are just 5 days apart). except i was drinking mocktails, because i was on some ridiculous drugs from my doctor, for like 6 WHOLE MONTHS!!!! i wasn't allowed a drop of alcohol. everyone forgot this, so i had bottles of tia maria (my fave), baileys, etc. etc. bought especially for me for the holiday season, that i couldn't drink. i fully intend to make up for it this year. i digress...

my 24th year was the first time in my entire life that i made a list of birthday resolutions. i was pretty depressed (not ACTUALLY clinically depressed) from 21-22.5, accumulating in HORRIBLE blow-outs at christmas/birthday time. never, ever to be repeated. 1.5 years is a long time to live a mediocre life. i KNEW 24 would be better. now i have just 39 days to fulfill my resolutions (the ones which i have the power to):

+ Make packed lunches for work

I SWITCHED JOBS, AND MY MOM IS MY NEW BOSS, SO MOSTLY SHE MAKES MY PACKED LUNCHES. SCORE!
+ Find out if the boy I like loves me

THIS OLD DRAMA!!!!
+ Finish my long-overdue Breaking Free bible study (still on week 4 after 1.5 years...)

NO. EMBARRASSING. I STILL HAVE TIME TO DO THIS ONE. LET'S GO...
+ Get lots of stamps in my passport, incl. California

THIS YEAR: AUSTRIA, FRANCE, INDIA, BUT NO CALIFORNIA. NEXT YEAR ROLL-OVER.
+ La La La and play guitar

I NOW OWN THE MOST AWESOME MIC ON THE PLANET. £ WELL SPENT! AND I KNOW 6 GUITAR CHORDS REALLY WELL. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!
+ Forgive imperfections quickly

I DID SO WELL. UNTIL THIS MONTH...I HAVE JUST BEEN SO OVER EVERYONE.
+ Furnish my sweet home

YESSS. I LOVE MY SWEET HOME. CAN'T WAIT TO PUT MY CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS UP AND BUY ONE OF THOSE CUTE FERRIS WHEELS THAT SINGS SILENT NIGHT (FROM DOBBIES GARDEN CENTRE).
+ Arrive at work by 9am (I am being realistic; work starts at 8.30am)

FAIL. BUT MY NEW JOB STARTS AT 9AM, AND I AM USUALLY THERE BY 9.05AM. SO MAYBE THIS CONSTITUTES A PASS.
+ Go back to being happy-go-lucky

I'M TRYING NOT TO ASSOCIATE SOCIALLY WITH ANYONE THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL HAPPY.

+ Love Jesus more completely

BILL JOHNSON (HERO) SHARED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR ON WORSHIP...AND HOW WHILE ON EARTH, WE CAN CHOOSE TO OFFER GOD WORSHIP WHEN THINGS AREN'T PERFECT, BUT INSTEAD ARE BROKEN, EMPTY, DISAPPOINTING, SAD, FRUSTRATING, AND THIS IS PRECIOUS. BECAUSE IN HEAVEN WE CAN NEVER GIVE GOD WORSHIP FROM THIS DEPTH OF EMOTION. SO BEAUTIFUL.
+ Rock out at gigs at the Wolves Civic

NO. BECAUSE I WORK PRETTY MUCH EVERY WEEKEND. AND I BOUGHT A HOUSE. DANG.
+ Say NO to gossip

I HAVE WORKED HARD ON THIS ONE ALL YEAR. YESSS. 8 PTS!
+ Spend my hard-earned cash on my two passions in life: fashion and music (no wasteful junk)

OF COURSE. CAN'T BELIEVE I PUT THIS AS A "BIRTHDAY RESOLUTION". BUT JUST REALISED THAT I HAVE BEEN BUYING CLOTHES SINCE I WAS 13 YEARS OLD, AND HAVE THROWN LITERALLY NOTHING OUT. MUST FIX THIS!
+ Stop caring about how others perceive me

THINK I MISUNDERSTOOD THIS ONE. DISTINCTLY REMEMBER A CONVO FROM LAST WEEK WHERE I 'CORRECTED' SOMEONE'S PERCEPTION OF ME. NOT A PRETTY MOMENT. BUT BRAVE?!
+ Cultivate PERFECTLY flawless skin

A\';SPO 2@£%(*P$£%POP@

+ Learn to play Hometown Glory (Adele) on the piano

I HAVE NO PIANO AT MY HOUSE TO LEARN. WILL GO TO MY MAMA'S!
+ Fall in love and get married

DEFINITELY NOT ACCOMPLISHED THIS ONE. BUT NEXT YEAR LOOKS GOOD...
+ Write a song

I HAVE WRITTEN ALOT OF POETRY. I HEART WORDS.
+ Be on time for church (maybe even EARLY for pre-church prayer, yikes, is this possible?)

BY DEFAULT I AM ALWAYS ON TIME, IT IS MY JOB!
+ Hang out with the girls in my apartment block

THEY ARE THE ABSOLUTE COOLEST. AND NOW WE HAVE BOYS TOO.
+ Bite my tongue to prevent saying unnecessary hurtful words to the people I love

GETTING BETTERRR! EXCEPT WHEN THE PEOPLE I LOVE BUY DESIGNER FAKES. THEN I CAN'T STOP MYSELF! CHILD EXPLOITATION SENDS ME CRAZY!
+ BLOG and publish baby!

I AM A TERRIBLE BLOGGER. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO WRITE ABOUT. IT IS SO SELF-INDULGING AND PRETENTIOUS. BUT ISN'T THAT HUMAN-KIND? I SECRETLY LOVE IT!

"what if starbucks marketed like a church"

sweet cheeks

online window shopping is my FAVE! isn't this little necklace the absoloute cutest. i may make a special trip into the city tomorrow, just so that this can sit sweetly around my neck. so precious.

pj day

my original plan for today:

shop

re- arrange my wardrobe

clean the house

my new plan for today:

sleep

watch daytime tv

call friends

read blogs

eat bacon and eggs

red herring:

the postman asked me to take a parcel for number 35. now i feel obliged to get dressed so that i don't look like a lazy-bones when mr number 35 comes to grab it after work. maybe i will pretend that i am sick. maybe i will explain to mr number 35 that after returning from a 2 week business trip to india, i proceeded to work an 80 hour week. maybe mr number 35 will feel very sorry for me and offer to cook dinner (he is a chef).

ecstasy and despair forever

we must break and bruise in this cycle of ecstasy and despair forever.

*ok, i was depressing myself with this post. it's gone*

please everybody; come check this guy out (i promise you won't regret it)

http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/

p.s will somebody teach me how to embed my links? i will love you forever...

confession time...

...i watched ALOT of BB10. i'm sure i am way too intelligent to watch such reality-TV trash. but the love-triangles, walk-outs, blazing-rows, and rule-breaks are addictive. found this comment on the official website (i am a geek) which sums up the series perfectly:

"the show is crazy. if it translated to a game of football we'd have players refusing to kick the ball, wlking off the pitch because they missed their loved ones or were bored, players breaking the rules and the referee just dong nothing, the goalkeeper refusing to save the goals because they liked the other team too much, players escaping from the pitch, deliberately breaking the rules in the hope they'll be sent off, players saying they dont want the prize money, or want to share it, or accusing others of being in the game only for the money. and worse of all, the 2 million spectators walking off in their droves in disgust."

i wish i was one of the "2 million spectators walking off...in disgust" but as i said: ADDICTIVE.